Tag: vol 55 issue 47

Real Fake News / Real Fake News - 3 years ago

Kyrie Irving Debuts Signature Shoe Inspired By RFID Chips Government Secretly Implants In Anesthetized Patients

BEAVERTON, OR—Claiming he wanted a sneaker that reflected his deepest passions, NBA star Kyrie Irving held a press conference Friday to debut his new Nike Kyrie 7 signature shoe, modeled after the RFID chips the government implants in the brain...

Real Fake News / Real Fake News - 3 years ago

Bruno Mars: In His Own Words, On Our Front Porch, Refusing To Leave

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Real Fake News / Real Fake News - 3 years ago

Child Wondering Why Older Brother Only One To Get Funeral

AUGUSTA, ME—Claiming that he should get one if his sibling did, local child Noah Weiss reportedly wondered Friday why his older brother was the only one to get a funeral. “How come Brendan gets a funeral, but I don’t?” said Weiss, explaining th...