New World Cup Fan Frantically Searching Online For Any Information He Can Find On Country Of ‘United States’

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BETHESDA, MD—Trying to learn more information about the team he recently decided to root for, new World Cup fan Brian Edman was frantically searching online Friday for any information he could find on the country of the United States. “This is my first time getting into the World Cup and I didn’t know who to root for, so I decided to just pick some random country and settled on the United States, but I don’t really know anything about their culture, so I’m trying to learn,” said Edman, who was reportedly spending most of his workday scouring Wikipedia pages for the United States and some of its major people and historical events so he could talk somewhat intelligently his friends about it when they watch tomorrow’s match. “There are a bunch of cool teams out there, like Cameroon and Senegal, but during the round of 64 I decided to just go with the U.S. Did you know that the United States has 50 stars on their flag? And that their national bird is the bald eagle? It’s pretty sweet. I’ve also been looking online at pictures from some of their big cities, like New York City and Los Angeles, and trying to imagine what it’s like to live there. Maybe someday I’ll get to visit! But for now, it’s just fun to cheer on this random country, even if I have no connection to it.” Edman admitted that his United States fandom had its downsides, as he was having trouble pronouncing some of the “weird-ass names” of the country’s players, like “Tyler Adams” and “Jordan Morris.”

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