Category : Real Fake News

Gwyneth Paltrow Stands Trial For ‘Hit-And-Run’ Ski Crash

Gwyneth Paltrow is standing trial in a lawsuit filed by a man accusing the actress-turned-lifestyle influencer of violently crashing into him while skiing at a Utah resort in 2016, causing him several serious injuries and then abandoning him. What d...

Thoughtful Letter On How To Improve Legislative Process Undercut By Poison Included In Envelope

WASHINGTON—Saying the sender’s contributions were appreciated but ultimately self-defeating, Capitol Police told reporters Wednesday that a thoughtful letter on how to improve the legislative process was undercut by the poison powder included i...

Government Subsidies Awarded To Any CEO Who Says ‘Climate’

WASHINGTON—As part of a $1 trillion clean energy plan to make executives say the word climate more, President Joe Biden announced Wednesday that the federal government would be awarding subsidies to any CEO who says the word climate. “Simply sa...

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Stormy Daniels

Start Slideshow Advertisement Previous Slide Next Slide 2 / 25 The Onion: “Okay, fair warning: Donald Trump is kind of our friend, so watch what you say in this interview because we will tell him.” The Onion: “Okay, fair warnin...

Trick Questions Cops Ask And How To Respond

Start Slideshow Police often rely on a number of deceptive tactics to obtain incriminating evidence or an unintended confession. The Onion offers this guide to the trick questions cops ask and to the responses one must provide to avoid going to j...

Study Suggests ‘Dad Jokes’ May Help Kids Develop Into Healthy Adults

A recent study suggests “dad jokes” actually have a positive effect on development, with researchers saying that when fathers embarrass their children with unfunny jokes, it teaches them how to overcome awkwardness. What do you think? “When are we...

Annotations In Used Copy Of ‘Autobiography Of Malcolm X’ Make It Painfully Obvious That Previous Owner Was White

CHICAGO—With dumbfounded question marks and astounded exclamation points littering the margins of almost every page, the handwritten annotations found Wednesday in a secondhand copy of The Autobiography Of Malcolm X made it painfully obvious th...

D.C. Lobbyists Pay Senators 5 Bucks To Fight Each Other

WASHINGTON—Looking for a fun diversion on a boring Wednesday afternoon, a group of high-powered D.C. lobbyists reportedly paid a couple senators five bucks to fight each other. “Here it is, a crisp fiver to the winner—now fight, you fucking los...

What I Got Right About The Iraq War

On the 20th anniversary of the U.S. invasion of Iraq, it’s important for us as a nation to reflect on that conflict and its consequences. As the vice president of the United States in 2003, I was one of the architects of the project to go after Sadd...